Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘struggle

Millions of Pieces

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When looking at life, it seems intrinsic that we should know our life and know ourselves well. Even without much effort it is reasonable to assume that we know who we are and yet for many it is a struggle. To know ourselves requires not only that we know the individual but also the individual parts by itself and as part of the whole.

The struggle does not come from lack of memory but from lack of identity. To be part of a whole does not mean to destroy oneself beyond recognition, and to be an individual does not mean to forsake the rest of existence.

Some bandy around the word “balance”. On the surface this appears to make sense until we ask ourselves what is this balance. Is balance an even divide between what is right versus what we want to be right? Is balance defined by each individual depending on their understanding of self? Is balance simply the “struggle,” but in terms more palatable to our current beliefs? Perhaps balance is none of these and is simply the constant flux and process of understanding.

A pillar in a sea of waves understands that it is not the waves that must stop, but instead our struggle to fight them that must cede.


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June 28, 2013 at 6:58 am

War and the Inner Monk

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BuddhaIs there war? Does there have to be war? To many the answers are obvious. One only needs to look out their window or turn on the television to see the effects and destruction of war. It’s easy to point out examples now and throughout time. The answer almost seems matter of fact, and yet perhaps it doesn’t have to be that way.

Is there war or is there only struggle? Internal and external struggles, perhaps they are the same. In others we see our shortcomings. We see the things we would like to change in ourselves. But rather than seek a path to understanding ourselves, we fight and we deny. We deny others a choice so that we do not have to face the one choice that sits right in front of us.

Rather than try to ask ourselves why we struggle to accept, or why we have each chosen the path we have selected, it almost seems easier to destroy all the things we do not yet understand and all the things we have chosen to deny. Is there war? Again, the answer seems an obvious one. We see others fighting and destroying each other, and yet this war is right inside each of us. In each of us there is a struggle. It’s not the struggle to fight what is right versus what is wrong. Instead it is the struggle to love ourselves. It is the struggle to accept ourselves in the face of self-denial.

When we are faced with questions that seem obvious, yet seem filled with doubts, we often cater to the responses of our friends. We pander to our inner monk. We bend the will of our heart in hopes of counting all of the nods of approval. To this we must ask ourselves, is it better to be ourselves or is it better to count the pupils that burn a hole through our very soul?

We can try to fill a void with praises and head counts, but until we can face ourselves, and until we can put down that inner struggle, will we be able to see our true selves. We are the prying eyes. We are the countless voices. We are the emptiness. We are the fullness in every breath. We are the inner and we are the outer. We are all there is.

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April 6, 2012 at 5:15 am


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If we can’t strive for our ideals, what can we strive for? Should we immediately give up? Should we give up on our dreams? Should we give up hope of world peace? Should we give up hope of understanding love? Should we be satisfied with what we’ve become? If one speaks of love, and in the next breath they damn another, does that make them a hypocrite? Does it make them a conniver, or does it just expose their struggle?

If one speaks about understanding and compassion and when they come upon a person in need of help and pass them by, does it make them a liar, or does it just mean they are lying to themselves? Is the messenger wrong for not being able to follow the message, or are we for judging the messenger? Regardless of the words one speaks, the ideas one writes about, or the actions one performs, each person, each creature and each piece of existence serves its purpose.

Though we may have expectations of our idealized selves, we can no more expect of others than we can expect of ourselves.

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June 15, 2011 at 6:02 am

Life in a Glass House

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glass house interiorLife is not lived through a window. It is not the image we present or the stories we tell. Life is not the house we have built or the fortunes we foretell. Life is not a collection of friends or the picture of peace we prop up. Life is not about the right answers. Life is vulnerable. Life is being without judging. Life is being without compromising. Life is accepting without being uncaring. Life is a mixed bag. It is joy, and it is pain. It is love, and it is hate. It is happiness, and it is sorrow. It is fondness and appreciation. It is growth in a sea of unending change. Life is perfect in its seeming imperfection. Life is…

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April 11, 2011 at 7:41 pm