Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘perception

Bend Me Break Me

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Mirror Sphere

The labels we give ourselves often hurt more than the labels others attribute to us. When we see ourselves in the light, we are in the light. When we see ourselves in the dark, we cannot see. We struggle to find self-worth and in doing so we look to others for validation however we can attain it.

Sometimes it means doing, acting and believing in things we normally would not, all for the satisfaction of approval. But in seeking approval outwardly or even secretly, are we destroying ourselves? Are we selling our self-worth and in the end compromising all that we have, the things that make us whole?

In seeking approval or happiness through means outside of our own internal happiness do we not become fractured beings? We can easily tear ourselves in search of ourselves, but until we are able to look firmly at our heart and soul, we will keep looking as if looking into a mirror held against another mirror.

The image we see of ourselves becomes so muddled that we cannot help but ask others what they see. But what we forget is that when we ask others to tell us what they see of us, we have already biased the other’s view.

It is a rare person who can tell another what they see with no strings attached. It is an even more rare person who can accept it and act upon it.

A Moment Not Judged is a Moment Lived

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There is no such thing as stability when it comes to one’s life path. It is simply trust, misplaced. We take comfort in the constructs that we create in life. We tell ourselves that if we go to school and become educated that we will have a good job when we’re finished. We tell ourselves that if we save our money that it will always be there for a rainy day. We tell ourselves that if we show loyalty to people that others will reciprocate. We tell ourselves all of these things in the hopes that it all might just come true.

We live our lives expecting a specific set of possible outcomes, but when those outcomes are different, it causes us confusion. It causes us to question our very existence. The person who sought to educate themselves is now faced with having to compete with others of a similar background for a single position. The person, who saved, is now faced with inflation that outpaces one’s savings. The person who was loyal is now faced with the realization that his loyalty meant nothing to the one he sought to impress.

Our lives are filled with similar examples of misplaced trust. When our expectations are not met, we blame others, and we blame ourselves. We become self-destructive when what we really need is to open our hearts and our minds to what truly exists, and to what truly matters.

We spend so much of our time contemplating the what-if moments, the possibilities, but we never ask ourselves, does it matter? Is the purpose of life to earn money? Is the purpose of life to try and learn every possible thing we can? Is the purpose of life to impress others? Perhaps it is none of these things. Perhaps it is simply to express oneself, to take joy in each moment, as it comes, regardless of how it we are perceived. A moment not judged, is a moment lived, and yet here we are judging ourselves each step of the way.

Future Flux

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The future never matters as much as the present because no matter how hard you try to capture what is front of you, it is always just out of reach and understanding. The future cannot be understood without the present, just as the present cannot be understood without the past. And though we might feel we have a grasp on all three, each is dependent on the other. As impossible as that may seem, our perception of the now, is constantly in flux. It is influenced by our emotions, and the very things that stir us and put us to sleep.

Reality is what we make it. Acceptance is what we make it. Expectations are what we make them. And yet all of these things are not mutually exclusive, with each potentially depending on the other. However, we can choose to live in a world of potentials or we can choose our fate at every moment. As seemingly out of control as life may sometimes appear, we have control over every aspect of how we choose to accept life. We may choose to accept life as a series of disconnected events seemingly pointing us to an end or a glorious epiphany, or we can choose to see life as a series of choices and events in which we play a very active role.

At each step and each moment, we can choose whether to accept what is before us. We can attempt to change the circumstance with which our present existence is framed, or we can live in the now, enjoying and living each moment of happiness and pain that life has to offer. And though part of us may want to judge and weigh the importance of each event that life presents, we also have the choice to see the love that is in every moment of every breath. The future is in flux, and yet so is the past. They may appear static, but life is what we can accept. And sometimes I choose to accept all of it. Can you?

Written by Sidewalk Bends

March 2, 2012 at 6:26 am

Bringing Down a Phalanx

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phalanxDisbelief and self-doubt are powerful in their ability to destroy oneself and even those whom would place their trust blindly with others. No matter how inclined one is to follow a particular path or mode of thinking, seeing the doubt that others may have in the same idea can often be detrimental to one’s own ability to believe.

Where a bridge stood or a rope supported one’s weight, the support fades and we are left to question our own faith, and our own motives. Have we followed others all along, or have we forged our own path? Are we truly comfortable in our own skin, or have we lived off of the support of others?

Doubt can bring a phalanx down, but when confronted with a chance to redeem oneself, there is no turning back. There is only Us in the end, no one stronger, smarter, or more prepared. There is only Us and yet all we have to confront is ourselves.

Looking for Oracles

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If you spend your time looking for oracles you will find them. If you spend your time looking for confirmation, you will find it. If you spend your time looking for pain and destruction, you will find those too. Look hard enough and you will find most anything. The question is, is what we seek merely a distraction? Is what we seek even good for us? Does knowing the reason behind something always matter? Finding explanations that match our preconceived notions of how the world should work or how others should behave doesn’t necessarily make for a better life.

We can search for the things we think will make us happy, but if it’s not really the truth, or if it distracts us from a greater love, or a greater happiness, what have we done? Have we wasted our time? Some will say “No,” because at least we will have traveled a path to tell us what not to do, but those paths can be infinite? Yes, those experiences give us perspective, but we must also ask ourselves, how far do we want to sink before we will put up our heads to breathe?

It’s not necessary to suffocate ourselves before we are ready to accept what life has to offer us, even if it’s not quite what we expected. Try to find peace, and we are met with road blocks. Try to find love, and we put conditions on how that love should be given and received. Try to help others, and we hold it against a person if they are not ready for the help.

Perhaps if we could just learn to appreciate what comes in life, we will be able to see all the blessings that have been bestowed on us. There won’t be that need to complain about the aching back, the weather that isn’t quite perfect enough, or the lack of sleep from a mind that endlessly worries about what to do next. We can either spend our time searching for oracles or we can enjoy life.

What is Right for One

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It’s difficult to watch those around us go through challenges, especially those challenges in which we think we have clarity. However, what is right for us may not necessarily be right for the other person. We each have to find what suits us and what can sit squarely in our hearts without any regrets. Though we might want to force our way by being louder, or by doing for another person what they can do themselves, we must not overstep our bounds.

We must allow others to make their own decisions even if we do not understand the reasons or motives behind them. It is not our place to ridicule or to guilt someone into a decision that suits us rather than the person who actually has to live with the choice. We have our chance and so we must allow others to have their chance as well.

Finding Oneself Again

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When we hold on to our own personal truths so tightly, it is easy to lose sight of the greater picture. In the hopes of justifying ourselves and our past actions, we can often overlook all that is around us. Clouded in our own beliefs, we can lose perspective as we begin to discount others including those we hold dear.

As we find ourselves in more self-isolation, we must ask whether we have really followed the truth, or forsaken it out of fear of being wrong, or pride for wishing to be in the right. As if to hold our arms crossed against our chest, we can often find ourselves defending something without asking “why?” Why if we have truly found inner peace do we defend something so strongly and disallow others from finding it themselves?

No amount of preaching, repetition, or immersion can force a person to understanding without first the will and the desire to understand. This comes differently in each person, but we must be patient enough to allow it to bloom in its own time and nurture it with love from all sides.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

November 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm