Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘fear

Fool’s Peace

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Peace is not solely attained by changing the world around us. We cannot bring peace nor understanding to others without first bringing it to ourselves. True peace cannot be forced nor implemented through fear. External peace without internal peace is simply a show that fools no one except those who wish to be fooled.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

June 28, 2013 at 7:04 am

I Am No Longer

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I do not know myself. Lost in my mind I cannot see. I am no longer who I was when I was a child. I am no longer who I was when I was a teenager. I am no longer who I was in my young adulthood. I am no longer.

I cannot recall yesterday, but not because my memory is gone. It used to be that I could not remember because I looked forward to the future, and now it is because looking back is too painful. I long for days when I had more clarity, when words flowed from my heart and my fingers just dictated the words, the thoughts and the feelings.

I long for those days and yet I know they too were not perfect. I struggled like all others. I thought I had clarity, but like others I had mistaken a glimpse for all that was. Understanding was not mine and yet I made it so. Though I can sometimes look back fondly, I know I cannot return. I am no longer that person, and yet I am.

To return is to go back to an understanding that was not all true. To go back is to relive my mistakes, and that too I know I cannot do. Everything seems a jumbled mess and yet I know this is how it must be. I know that in this I am born again. I need not look to the next life, for there is continuity in all of existence.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 11, 2013 at 7:47 am

Without Indignation

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It is easy to blame ourselves for not being better human beings, for not loving each other enough, for not being there enough when it counts. It is so easy to beat ourselves up that we even look for any reason to be hard on ourselves. We want so much to be perfect, to say the right things and do the right things. Perhaps what is more important than trying to be everything to everyone, or trying to make each moment as perfect as we want it to be, is that we just stop long enough to be ourselves.

Perhaps there is no need to impress, to lead with our best foot forward, because in being ourselves, each step is our best foot forward. By being ourselves, and removing those inhibitions that prevent us from saying what we want to say, and doing what we want to do, we bring honor to all that is. No longer ashamed, or afraid of being who we are, perhaps we can accept all that we each have to give.

There is no imperfection or miscalculation. There are no slights, or offenses. There is no spite, or jealousy. There is just simply understanding. There is understanding that what we each bring to the table is a different face of God, a different face of humanity. And if we are so ashamed of humanity, perhaps it is not humanity that we are ashamed of, but rather our lack of understanding of our place in it.

So let us not blame each other, or even ourselves. Let us simply be. Let us be without fear of reprisal, or judgment. Let us be without indignation and indifference. Let us be without regrets. Let us be.

Easy to Compare

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Do not have pity on the dead for many have found peace beyond the veil we call life.
Do not have pity on the poor for many have found happiness outside of material wealth.
Do not have pity on the old for many have experienced a life we can only imagine.
Do not have pity on the young for they have a wisdom that has not yet been lost.
Do not have pity on your neighbor for he lives his life.

It is easy to compare our lives to others. It is easy to extend our wants and desires onto others. But can we allow others to be for the sake of being? Can we allow others to live for the sake of living? Can we allow others to love for the sake of loving? Our fears are our fears and we should not allow them to be another’s. Our desires are our desires and we should not allow them to be another’s. Life is difficult enough when we are trying to discover our own path, and it becomes that much more difficult when we try to forge a path for others.

So when we look on those we love, and even those we just meet, perhaps we can do others more good, by giving them the tools to forge their own path. Perhaps we can be better parents, better partners, better friends and better people by allowing others to find themselves, in their own time, and in their own way.

Do not have pity on others. Do not have pity on yourself. Instead, live this life. Live this moment for all that it is worth. Live it, not to please, or to appease. Live it to be you and do not have pity.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

April 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Driving from the Backseat

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highwayThere are things in life that have to take its course. Although we would like to have control over every single aspect of every event that happens to us in life, we have to understand that what happens is not always understood right away, or ever for that matter. Grabbing on to every bit of life for the sake of feeling in control only leads us to doubt ourselves when the things we think are going to happen don’t quite match up with what we’ve told ourselves.

The road starts to disappear, a clear path seems to be overgrown with obstacles, and what we are left with is the trust that we’ll get through it all. We can grab the wheel of control tighter or we can let things take its course. However at some point we have to understand that no amount of maneuvering or trying to drive from the backseat will change the outcome. It only adds to the stress and to the feeling that everything has slipped from our grips. So in the end we can sit and enjoy the ride or we can try to avoid facing ourselves.

This does not mean taking a back seat to life, but quite the opposite. It means enjoying every aspect of it. It means not counting the time. It means not worrying about what’s in back of you or necessarily what’s two steps in front of you. It means living for the moment, regardless of what comes. It means accepting the lessons of life, whether they come as happy moments or heartaches. It means learning to take joy even in those difficult moments when we find it difficult to stare ourselves in the mirror.

We’ve got to face this road, but not alone, never alone. That is a choice, like all other choices, made from a place of love and serenity, or from a place of fear and loathing. Though we might sometimes come from a place of fear or hurt, it’s never too late to turn a new leaf, to shine a light on a difficult moment, and enjoy life.

Concentric Circles

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green concentric circlesImagine time as set of concentric circles moving outward from a single starting point. As we move outward from the starting point to the outer most circle time moves forward. Now imagine that each adjacent circle is connected by any number of paths, with each path representing a choice. That choice could be anything from crossing the street to not crossing the street, to something perhaps more consequential like having a child or not having a child, or saving money versus spending all of one’s money. The circles, which represent consequences, stay the same, but the path to each circle can be different.

What if life proceeded in this way? Would that indicate predestination or free will? Would it mean that our choices do not matter because the result is the same? What if one could bypass a circle of consequence? What if one could remain at the single point? What if one could move between circles or what if there were more than one set of concentric circles, or circles that crossed other circles? Could our lives and thus our choices be distilled so easily?

Perhaps these questions do not matter all that much, or perhaps we place too much energy and concern on the time spent from going from point A to point B, when in fact they are the same? Maybe what is important is not the consequence at all, but how we come to the decision that leads to that consequence, or is it the other way around?

We can spend an entire lifetime contemplating all the possible outcomes and all the possible choices and still not be satisfied with how things turn out. If we allow our lives to be dictated by the fear of what may or may not happen, then we have crippled ourselves before giving life a chance.

Water Rises

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If you are standing in the middle of a road and all paths disappear, do not fret. If water rises from the ground and all roads melt into one, do not fret. If your tracks get swept away and everything in front of you looks the same as in back of you, do not fret. All paths become one eventually.

Late or in a rush, all paths become one. Do not run frantic to find the start or meet its end, for you are already there. Stuck in a crowd or out on a limb, do not panic for you are already there. Enjoy this fluid life. It sets no boundaries. This is not a contradiction, just something to the mind, it does not please.

In this life we hold so dear,
We are most captivated by our fear.

If but once we could let go,
We could see what this life truly has to show.

So worry not anymore,
Enjoy this existence like never before.