Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘facing ourselves

I Am No Longer

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I do not know myself. Lost in my mind I cannot see. I am no longer who I was when I was a child. I am no longer who I was when I was a teenager. I am no longer who I was in my young adulthood. I am no longer.

I cannot recall yesterday, but not because my memory is gone. It used to be that I could not remember because I looked forward to the future, and now it is because looking back is too painful. I long for days when I had more clarity, when words flowed from my heart and my fingers just dictated the words, the thoughts and the feelings.

I long for those days and yet I know they too were not perfect. I struggled like all others. I thought I had clarity, but like others I had mistaken a glimpse for all that was. Understanding was not mine and yet I made it so. Though I can sometimes look back fondly, I know I cannot return. I am no longer that person, and yet I am.

To return is to go back to an understanding that was not all true. To go back is to relive my mistakes, and that too I know I cannot do. Everything seems a jumbled mess and yet I know this is how it must be. I know that in this I am born again. I need not look to the next life, for there is continuity in all of existence.


Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 11, 2013 at 7:47 am

Sacred Cow

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KC Sacred Cow by Rebecca L. MillerWhen the sacred cow becomes a sheep, do not cast him aside. Do not banish him from the heard or mark him as an abomination. Do not poke a finger in his eye, or berate him for his transgressions. Do not speak behind his back, or cast aspersions under your breath. Judge him not for the things that others wanted him to be. Judge him not for giving you what you wanted. Judge him not for the weights he has carried. Welcome him that he may see his place. Welcome him that he may become as you. Forgive him that you may also forgive yourself.

sculpture credit: KC Sacred Cow by Rebecca L. Miller

Look into My Soul

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Crack in a dam.Why are so many afraid to look into their own soul? Why are so many afraid to ask themselves questions that go deeper than the surface? Why are so many afraid to look themselves in the mirror? Could it be that deep down, they know they have squandered an opportunity? Could it be they are ashamed of a decision, or a life that has somehow gotten them off track? Could it be there is a hurt so great that the mind refuses to stare itself in the eye?

Like cracks in a dam, pain slowly leaks. It spreads into our daily life consuming all before it. Left to suffer the cracks get deeper and deeper. Though it seems like nothing can be done to repair it, sometimes all it takes is looking. Sometimes all it takes is looking, and learning to accept who we are and the decisions we’ve made. Nothing can be done to change the choices we’ve made, but life is not lived in the past. It’s lived today. It’s lived one decision at a time.

And so although it may sometimes be painful to look into our soul, or into the soul of others, sometimes we need a reminder of who we are. Sometimes we need reminders of lessons long since passed, and of lessons swept under the covers. We are who we are in the past. We are who we are in the future. We are who we are now. The question is do you know who you are? Do you truly know who you are? There is no shame in being you.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

June 10, 2010 at 7:36 pm