Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘expectations

How to Keep a Smile

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A smile.Expect nothing of others, let alone oneself. Each person, each creature is an individual with their own needs and desires. What may seemingly be right for one may not be right for all, or even for ourselves in another moment in time.

Take each moment as it comes and treat every experience as a new one. Treat each interaction, whether it is with a stranger, someone you love or even with someone with whom you do not normally get along, as if it were the first interaction. Do not become a stranger but rather walk with an open mind and heart that you may always walk away with God’s or the universe’s best intentions realized.

Do not condemn before giving life and others a chance. Do not walk in blindness. Open the eyes of your soul that you may see the light of life in every being and in all that you do.

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Sacrificing Dreams

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resentment

When decisions come from the right place, dreams are not sacrificed or put on hold. Rather, expectations and resentment are understood and put into check. We want so much for ourselves, but often do not stop long enough to ask if what we want is actually good for us. We see the immediate gratification, but never ask the question of how our desires affect those around us. We want things for ourselves. We want time for ourselves. But do we ever stop to ask what a stranger might need. Do we ever ask ourselves whether someone else is feeling alright? Perhaps some of us ask these questions, but at the end of the day, where does our focus rest?

Does it rest at the feet of our own comfort, or are we strong enough to see others who may be in dismay? Not everyone wants something for free, whatever that means. Not everyone is out to reduce us to shreds. Not everyone is out to hurt us. Sacrifice comes with desire, but with desire, the seeds of resentment flourish. With resentment comes anger. And with anger, our dreams become nightmares.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

July 27, 2012 at 9:41 pm

A Moment Not Judged is a Moment Lived

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There is no such thing as stability when it comes to one’s life path. It is simply trust, misplaced. We take comfort in the constructs that we create in life. We tell ourselves that if we go to school and become educated that we will have a good job when we’re finished. We tell ourselves that if we save our money that it will always be there for a rainy day. We tell ourselves that if we show loyalty to people that others will reciprocate. We tell ourselves all of these things in the hopes that it all might just come true.

We live our lives expecting a specific set of possible outcomes, but when those outcomes are different, it causes us confusion. It causes us to question our very existence. The person who sought to educate themselves is now faced with having to compete with others of a similar background for a single position. The person, who saved, is now faced with inflation that outpaces one’s savings. The person who was loyal is now faced with the realization that his loyalty meant nothing to the one he sought to impress.

Our lives are filled with similar examples of misplaced trust. When our expectations are not met, we blame others, and we blame ourselves. We become self-destructive when what we really need is to open our hearts and our minds to what truly exists, and to what truly matters.

We spend so much of our time contemplating the what-if moments, the possibilities, but we never ask ourselves, does it matter? Is the purpose of life to earn money? Is the purpose of life to try and learn every possible thing we can? Is the purpose of life to impress others? Perhaps it is none of these things. Perhaps it is simply to express oneself, to take joy in each moment, as it comes, regardless of how it we are perceived. A moment not judged, is a moment lived, and yet here we are judging ourselves each step of the way.

No Tomorrow

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The happiest moments in life are those when everything is left on the table. Leave nothing unsaid. Leave nothing undone. Leave nothing for tomorrow. Tomorrow does not always lend itself to better circumstances so rather than wait for the most optimal time, leave all the expectations behind.

There is no better time, or worst time so let there be no would have’s, could have’s or should have’s. Live life not for the hope of a better tomorrow, but live it for right now in this moment. Show all your cards, and leave all that you have on the table.

Let there be no regrets. Let there be no resentment. Shed every tear, kiss every cheek, hug every hug, and let there be no tomorrow.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

August 11, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Chasing Dreams

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child running after dreamSatisfaction is difficult to come by when we’ve allowed something to take the place of our heart. Nothing can fill a hole that digs itself deeper. Nothing can quench a thirst that sits in the sun. Nothing can please a mind that has itself convinced.

When we’re ready to stop and face ourselves, then we can see the real challenge we face. It’s not the promotion or the job. It’s not the marriage or the relationship. It’s not the salary or the bills. It’s our expectations.

It’s the expectations that we have of ourselves and of others. It’s the future we hoist above our heads and the past we try to forget. It’s the dreams we’ve swept under the rug for the sake of another. It’s all the things we thought we wanted, but didn’t know why.

When our dreams become us, have we forgotten what we’re after, or have our eyes been so set on the goal that we disregard all in our wake?

Written by Sidewalk Bends

August 4, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Sweetest Perfection

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Can you love me enough to see past my flaws?
Can you love me enough to see me through life?
Can you love me enough to let me fall?
Can you love me enough to let me pick myself up?
Can you love me enough to give me a pat on the back?
Can you love me enough to give me words of encouragement?
Can you love me enough to be yourself?

When I mope and throw a fit, I just want to be loved.
When I scream, I just want to be loved.
When I cry, I just want to be loved.
When I’m alone and hide, I just want to be loved.

I just want to be loved. Can you love me enough?

Photo Finish

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Whether one is given a head start, one leaves with the pack, or one is last out of the gate, we arrive at our destination of understanding at the same time. Although we may look around and say, “This one is foolish. They do not know what they are doing,” or “This one is wise. Look at how much they understand,” neither has a leg up on the other. When we focus our energies and our efforts on trying to bring down another or lift another, we expect to see results.

Rather than expecting results, perhaps our energy would best be spent allowing another to understand themselves, while trying to also understand ourselves. When we focus on the iniquities of others, we do nothing but build resentment for others while at the same time distracting from those things that hold us back. There is no race or time by which all will be lost, or that all needs to be learned. There is simply now.

In living now and accepting what comes now, we remove the burdens of our wants and expectations. We remove the worries of defeat and loss. We remove ideas of denial and guilt. We remove all the things that prevent us from being our true selves.