Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘depression

Cornered Soul

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abused dogThe cornered soul is like a dog that has been abused its whole life. All it’s known how to do is to survive by whatever means necessary. At one point love created it. It nurtured it. But some time during its life, it forgot what it was like to be wanted, to be loved, to be appreciated. It received food and water every day, but what it wanted most, was to be loved. Its belly was fed and a roof was mostly over its head, but its heart was never nourished. Closing its heart and backing into a corner of its soul, it did what it thought it needed to in order to survive.

Afraid that any hand that offered it affection was a hand that would take a swipe, it no longer wanted to be touched. Afraid of every sound directed toward it, it remained in constant fear of being put down and berated. Disaffected, it lies in its corner. It no longer tries to be loved. It no longer acknowledges anyone who would try to befriend it. It no longer looks for approval. It simply exists.

Though it may seem impossible to bring that dog from out of its corner and though it may seem impossible to teach it to trust again, all it needs is a chance. It needs patience. It needs assurance. It needs guidance. Most of all, it needs love. Heal the cornered soul.

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All That You Need

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The past is blind.
The future is unwanting.
All you need is in front of you.
When you are presented with your brother, do not look for another.
When you see an empty field, do not dig.
When you want to speak, but the words cannot flow, do not look for a book to read.
The past is blind and the future is unwanting.

All that you need is before you.
When the truth is revealed and some would rather change it, do not swallow your tongue.
When the weak are trampled, and some would pick the pieces, make them whole.
When the innocent are defiled and some would turn their back, do not walk away.
The past is blind and the future is unwanting.

All that you need is inside of you.
When your heart sinks and you want to throw it away, do not cry in anger.
When your tears run dry, and you want to hide, stand in the center.
When your fingers claw at your skin, and your flesh becomes a prison, set yourself free.
The past is blind and the future is unwanting.

All that you need is all around you.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 14, 2011 at 6:30 am

The Apothecary’s Cabinet

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apothecary cabinetChipped paint.Empty pages.
Memories of dust.
Nothing is forgotten.

Turned backs.
Burried secrects.
Words spoken.
Nothing is forgotten.

Innocent youth.
Lost dreams.
Bitter past.
Nothing is forgotten.

Tick tock.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
Nothing is forgotten.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 14, 2011 at 6:27 am

Soiled Feet

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Stop slogging in the mud, with your knees high to your chest. Remember. Gather in the tribe of One. The seasons may change, and the landscape may become barren, but look around and you will see kinship in all. Stop yelling at the face of God, for your tears shall become hard knots to swallow. Do not walk away. Do not shout at love. Do not blaspheme. Stop the rain. Stop the pain. At any moment the fields shall be filled with green. Look around. Behind you, in front of you, above you, below you, all is heard.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 14, 2011 at 6:20 am

Addicted to Suffering

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heroinPain is a drug some crave. Like a straight line that courses through one’s veins, some live in the suffering, not because they think they deserve it, but because they are addicted to it. They’ve lived in it for so long, that the highs and lows of reprieve from the self-inflicted wounds become a familiar friend. Pain and hurt become self-fulfilling and feelings that some think they can control. But when solace is sought and a mercy they themselves are unable to give is a forgotten memory, they stumble into the darkness.

One becomes two, and two becomes three, but added company does not set a person free. Pain begets more pain. Suffering begets more suffering. Whether crouched down in a slumped ball of self-deprecation or running madly and wildly in desperation, one need only stand as an upright person to see what is before them; Choices, or more bluntly, a choice.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

April 28, 2011 at 11:03 pm

When the Blessings Run Dry

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tending animals in the desert

When the blessings run dry, give thanks for the pain.
When the blessings run dry, give thanks for the joy of others.
When the blessings run dry, give thanks for the opportunities.
When the blessings run dry, do not curse and bemoan, but pray for understanding.
When the blessings run dry, give blessings to others.
When the blessings run dry, give blessings that you have always been complete.
When the blessings run dry, go to the well that is your heart.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

October 14, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Blaming God

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Shouting at GodThere are times in life when we have all questioned God’s will and sometimes His very existence. Often in times of hurt and in times of pain, we begin to question our beliefs and our very core. We look back on the decisions we’ve made, the people we’ve encountered and the many thoughts that have gone through our heads, and we question. We question how we’ve gotten to where we’ve gotten. We question our worth and judge our happiness. We look back at the “what ifs” and replay each hurtful moment as if to relive the agony in order to make it more real. As if in bewilderment, we look at our lives and wonder how it got out of control. Was it because of our friends? Was it because of our family? Was it because of God? Was it because we were so unforgiving of the joys of this life?

We look to place blame as if it were some badge to dignify the situation. Though at times some of us would like to pass on the responsibility of our life on to others, there is no one to blame. Life is life, with its challenges, it’s heartache and it’s joys. Although we may not always be able to see through the fog of our own despair, there is always a light. It’s not sitting at the end of the proverbial tunnel, but right inside of us. Like a lighthouse guiding a ship to land, there is a light inside each one of our hearts, guiding us through the fog and back to God. Though the voyage is often a rough one, as soon as we can release our burdens and the expectations that keep us in place; as soon as we can release the anchor that holds us down, we can find our way home.