Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Posts Tagged ‘bipolar

Unfinished Thoughts

leave a comment »

Exhale

No one wants to reflect the negativity they can encompass, but yet it is a part of us, for some of us more than others. Some of us are far better at dealing with these self-perceived imperfections while some of us choose to ignore it. Others dwell, as I often do. Others do it compulsively, almost to a fault.

It becomes a habit, a behavior that comforts us, no matter how self-destructive. Yet that comfort seems to override any semblance of peace, and what we know to be right.

 

Karma

Do not judge another for in doing so you judge yourself. The fault that is seen so acutely is seen first in yourself. The love and good seen in others is first seen in yourself.

 

Laugh

The light of day; how I wish to recognize you again.
The moon, how I miss our conversations when you disappear.

Laughter, when it didn’t mean poking fun at others; to live in innocence again.

 

Reprieve

A life we can no longer remember. Happiness is a distant memory. Reprieve from the mind.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

July 23, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Sweetest Perfection

leave a comment »

Can you love me enough to see past my flaws?
Can you love me enough to see me through life?
Can you love me enough to let me fall?
Can you love me enough to let me pick myself up?
Can you love me enough to give me a pat on the back?
Can you love me enough to give me words of encouragement?
Can you love me enough to be yourself?

When I mope and throw a fit, I just want to be loved.
When I scream, I just want to be loved.
When I cry, I just want to be loved.
When I’m alone and hide, I just want to be loved.

I just want to be loved. Can you love me enough?

Addicted to Suffering

leave a comment »

heroinPain is a drug some crave. Like a straight line that courses through one’s veins, some live in the suffering, not because they think they deserve it, but because they are addicted to it. They’ve lived in it for so long, that the highs and lows of reprieve from the self-inflicted wounds become a familiar friend. Pain and hurt become self-fulfilling and feelings that some think they can control. But when solace is sought and a mercy they themselves are unable to give is a forgotten memory, they stumble into the darkness.

One becomes two, and two becomes three, but added company does not set a person free. Pain begets more pain. Suffering begets more suffering. Whether crouched down in a slumped ball of self-deprecation or running madly and wildly in desperation, one need only stand as an upright person to see what is before them; Choices, or more bluntly, a choice.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

April 28, 2011 at 11:03 pm

End Your Suffering

with 4 comments

There is so much suffering in the world and the worst part of it all is that we all do it to ourselves. Brother is pitted against brother, sister against sister and family against family. Whether out of jealousy, or perceived slights, we hold our anger above the heads of others. As if to use our emotions as pity strings, they are used as weapons in a game of manipulation and hurt. Instead of speaking kindly, our words are used to slander. Instead of loving thoughts, anger and hate are born out of frustration. Instead of calm action, we succumb to the weight of all the pain that has been stored from events long since passed.

Frustration begets anger. Anger begets hate. Hate begets suffering. And yet, all of it could be prevented. Born out of expectations, our frustrations fester. Our anger begins to boil and as each moment passes; our assumptions lead us closer to the edge. Continue to feed the anger, and we will be met with more anger. Feed the spirit love, and it will know no anger. Feed the spirit love, and it will know understanding. Fill the spirit with love and there will be no need for forgiveness. Fill the spirit with love, and watch the pain subside.

depression; photo by: Mindy Ricketts
Photo by Mindy Rickett

Suffering is not in the control of others, but is only given strength by our own choices. We can choose how we feel. We can choose to accept, or we can choose to deny. We can choose a path of calm seas, or we can choose a path of raging waters. The choice to suffer is ours. The choice to live in peace is also ours. Although we may think others hold us captive by their thoughts and their actions, we have no one to blame but ourselves. End your suffering. Choose to feel Love.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

May 14, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Self-Implosion

leave a comment »

Emotions felt with exposed nerves.
Thoughts flooding like a tidal surge.
Numbing pain.
Blank stares.
Fruitless effort.
Loss of control.

What if without love, there was just pain, a sadness unimaginable, but lived everyday? What if in this sorrow, we did all we could to forget how we felt, but were still reminded? We have given power to our fears. In seeking out distractions to numb our pain, all we have done is prolonged the inevitable. We have done it to ourselves. Whether out of fear, self-loathing, habit, or lack of will, we have done it to ourselves. In our thoughts we are lost. In our hearts we are found.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

December 11, 2009 at 5:28 am