Sidewalk Bends

Exploring the soul and it's reaches.

Archive for the ‘Judgement’ Category

Forgiveness From the Ashes

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Phoenix rising.Forgiveness is not about forgetting nor is it about denial. Forgiveness is about relinquishing control. It’s about releasing pain that has manifested as anger and resentment. It is about releasing a self inflicted burden.

Like shackles that bind our feet, pain ties us to our current condition. Without forgiveness, whether of another or oneself, we become stuck in a vicious cycle of pain and resentment. With forgiveness or some would say godliness, we have a way out, a way forward.

It grants us the power, not over another, but over our own destiny. We don’t have to live in pain. We don’t have to live in misery. We need only realize that in all matters of the spirit we can choose a destructive path, or one that raises us from the ashes.

From the ashes I rise. From the ashes I forgive myself.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

July 12, 2013 at 2:28 am

The Nature of Man

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Adam and GodShould a wolf be rewarded for its cunningness? Should a snake be punished for its ability to strike without being seen? Who is above the fray that they should judge whether one is deserving of a reward or punishment? Who is holy enough that they should cast judgment on one’s nature, and one’s ability to please God?

We each live our lives, hopefully by the best of our intentions, but does this make us the maker of kings and the deliverer of justice? We are no better and no worse than our highest ideals and our lowest of lows. Happiness does not come from denying happiness to others. Nor does it come from shunning what we cannot understand. Happiness ultimately will come from not only accepting ourselves, but also from accepting that we cannot control others.

We can become prisoners of our own jealousy and pride, or we can set ourselves free from the seemingly endless critiques and judgments. Perhaps in writing this or even in contemplating this aspect of our nature, we can be hypocritical, but is it not better to accept and move on from one’s faults, rather than claiming none ever existed in the first place?

Written by Sidewalk Bends

October 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Be You

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Do not judge or allow yourself to be judged. No one person knows more than another chooses to know or not know. Know your intent, and worry not about the intent of another, lest you let another live or dictate your life. Be as you are, not what you dream yourself to be, or what society, family or friends have deemed appropriate. Your life is not measured by those who necessarily agree with you or like you, but by how you choose to live your life. It is not measured by time, wealth, or stature, but by your tears, your compassion, and your actions. It is measured by the love you give and the love you share. Live your life, but not in the shadow or expectations of others. Live it because it is you. Be you.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

July 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Identify!

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If you could put your identity to the side, would you be willing to live and be who you are? What would you call yourself? Would you still claim a nation as your home, a religion as your foundation, and a god as your God? Who would claim your allegiance if allegiances were to be made? Who would hold your ear when a story needed to be told?

Who are you? Most can agree we are not the clothes we wear, or the job we take up, but then who are we? Many ask this quejudgestion throughout their lives, while some pay no mind, and still others become who they are told to be. All the while, the question still begs to be asked, “Who am I?” Am I a mother, a father, a brother or a sister? Am I my parents’ child? Am I a policeman, a teacher or business person? Am I a stranger, a derelict or a criminal? Who am I to ask these questions? Who am I to answer them?

I am no one, and yet I am someone. I am you, and yet I am me. I am and yet I have no words to describe. Do not judge me. Just see me, for no words can do justice, nor should we attempt to confine.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

July 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm

A Moment Not Judged is a Moment Lived

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There is no such thing as stability when it comes to one’s life path. It is simply trust, misplaced. We take comfort in the constructs that we create in life. We tell ourselves that if we go to school and become educated that we will have a good job when we’re finished. We tell ourselves that if we save our money that it will always be there for a rainy day. We tell ourselves that if we show loyalty to people that others will reciprocate. We tell ourselves all of these things in the hopes that it all might just come true.

We live our lives expecting a specific set of possible outcomes, but when those outcomes are different, it causes us confusion. It causes us to question our very existence. The person who sought to educate themselves is now faced with having to compete with others of a similar background for a single position. The person, who saved, is now faced with inflation that outpaces one’s savings. The person who was loyal is now faced with the realization that his loyalty meant nothing to the one he sought to impress.

Our lives are filled with similar examples of misplaced trust. When our expectations are not met, we blame others, and we blame ourselves. We become self-destructive when what we really need is to open our hearts and our minds to what truly exists, and to what truly matters.

We spend so much of our time contemplating the what-if moments, the possibilities, but we never ask ourselves, does it matter? Is the purpose of life to earn money? Is the purpose of life to try and learn every possible thing we can? Is the purpose of life to impress others? Perhaps it is none of these things. Perhaps it is simply to express oneself, to take joy in each moment, as it comes, regardless of how it we are perceived. A moment not judged, is a moment lived, and yet here we are judging ourselves each step of the way.

Finding Oneself Again

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When we hold on to our own personal truths so tightly, it is easy to lose sight of the greater picture. In the hopes of justifying ourselves and our past actions, we can often overlook all that is around us. Clouded in our own beliefs, we can lose perspective as we begin to discount others including those we hold dear.

As we find ourselves in more self-isolation, we must ask whether we have really followed the truth, or forsaken it out of fear of being wrong, or pride for wishing to be in the right. As if to hold our arms crossed against our chest, we can often find ourselves defending something without asking “why?” Why if we have truly found inner peace do we defend something so strongly and disallow others from finding it themselves?

No amount of preaching, repetition, or immersion can force a person to understanding without first the will and the desire to understand. This comes differently in each person, but we must be patient enough to allow it to bloom in its own time and nurture it with love from all sides.

Written by Sidewalk Bends

November 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Contradictory Forces

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hand redirecting water“Enlightenment” and “want,” or “desire” are two contradictory forces. Whether these desires include the desire for material gains, worldly gains, or whether they include the want for peace, wisdom or knowledge, they distract from that which is. A desire for change is not necessarily bad, though that is often based on judgment dictated by our upbringing and expectations.

The act of wanting something is like a great hand being placed in a river and trying to redirect the flow of the water. The water will continue to flow. Which direction it flows is not by our choice. We may try to change the flow of the water by placing boulders in its path to prevent or redirect it but no matter what we do, it will keep coming. In some cases we are more successful than others, and what we desire comes to fruition.

However, what comes as a result of our actions is not necessarily what is meant to be. We are allowed that choice nonetheless. The water that was once flowing may stop and all that lies beyond may go to waste, or a new path may be created and what was once dead or inconceivable is given life. But what happens when we are gone, or there is more than one person or being who tries to exert their will on this river? Whose choice is the right choice? Whose choice prevails? Our desires may lead us in the same direction, or they may have us at each other’s throats.

Regardless of these desires, the river that is life continues long after we are gone. So although we may want some form of enlightenment and we may think we have a method of achieving this, the very desire that leads us to it, and the inclination that brings it to our attention, are the very things prevent us from understanding it. With each desire we change the very thing we seek.