Sidewalk Bends

When we lash out at those who try to help, we do nothing but bring pain to ourselves. When we lash out at the innocents we bring pain to everyone. Though pain might be a seemingly comforting place to some, in truth it is just a place of familiarity. Rather than seeing beyond the hate and anger, we seek to wallow in it. We see ourselves as undeserving of love and justify this thought with behaviors to match.

We ask ourselves why things are the way they are, why the good suffer and why those we deem as lesser beings seem immune to the chaos. We can’t quite comprehend why the balance of the universe seems tilted one way versus another, why it seems tilted away from us. But if we just stopped long enough to see why some behave the way they do, and how we react to others and the situations that we find ourselves in, we would realize that it is not the world that is skewed towards or away from us, but rather our perception of the world and our view of those in it that are skewed. We apply our desires, fears and prejudices towards others, and we ask why “they” are the way they are without ever looking at ourselves.

No matter our transgressions or the transgressions of others, it is not about blame. It is about righting a ship that has gone off course. It is about finding inner peace and bringing it to the outer world. It is about understanding our pain and releasing it so that we may suffer no longer. Choose to release the pain. Choose to accept love. Choose happiness.

Do not take away my pain for it is mine to bear. Do not take away my tears for they are mine to shed. Do not take away my heartache for it is mine to understand. Do not parse my words for they are mine to express. Do not tell me how to grieve. Do not tell me how to cry. Love me the same as you would love those in pain.

It is difficult to watch those we love suffer in such a way we can only fathom to understand. No one wants to see their children, siblings or parents in pain. No one wants to watch those they love go through an anguish that can alone be lifted with time and healing.

While we all grieve in our own way we must allow each to express themselves in their way and in their time. Some fold into their shell and hide from prying eyes. Some cry uncontrollably. Some appear as though all emotions have been wiped from their face. Some become angry and lash out. Still others seek comfort and solace in all who would give it. Though we may all grieve in our own way, we need not grieve alone. We need not suffer alone. We need not heal alone.

Though we may each shed a tear, let us shed it together. Let us cry on each other’s shoulders and worry not about the time. Let us accept each other’s loving embrace and remember we are never alone. Let us remember that in happy times, and sad, we are always loved. We are never alone. Let us celebrate together.

It is not a burden to feel a person’s pain if we care enough to help them through it. It is not a burden to hear the heartache of a friend or a stranger if they themselves can release a weight that brings them suffering. It is not a burden to wipe the tears off someone’s face if it allows them to stare at the world without shame again.

People come to us for different reasons. Sometimes it is so we can help them to see themselves better, or to gain understanding from a situation. And other times it is so we too can learn from others. Friends or acquaintances from years past show up to give sage advice. Strangers from nowhere give reassuring smiles. Other times the wind blows just right, and a thought or memory is stirred.

Whether we perceive these things as burdens or powerful gestures that we are loved is up to us. Despite how we decide to accept or reject the people or things that come into our lives, it will not stop the reminders. It will not stop the reminders that we are all loved. It will not stop the reminders that we are all part of something very special. Whether we choose to see it now or later, that gift is always there.

Shadows of night.
Figures in the dark.
Behind veils thick and thin.

Familiar faces.
Teary eyes.
Tired jowls.

Jolted heart.
Silent cries.
Haggard soul.

See the frustration in others and you will know you are not alone. Some show their sadness with tears. Some sulk in silence. Some stew in anger. Some point out the things in others they cannot understand.

Do not judge your sadness against another. Do not judge your understanding against another. Be not a hindrance to yourself or another. Lift the haggard soul.

Stop slogging in the mud, with your knees high to your chest. Remember. Gather in the tribe of One. The seasons may change, and the landscape may become barren, but look around and you will see kinship in all. Stop yelling at the face of God, for your tears shall become hard knots to swallow. Do not walk away. Do not shout at love. Do not blaspheme. Stop the rain. Stop the pain. At any moment the fields shall be filled with green. Look around. Behind you, in front of you, above you, below you, all is heard.

Pain is a drug some crave. Like a straight line that courses through one’s veins, some live in the suffering, not because they think they deserve it, but because they are addicted to it. They’ve lived in it for so long, that the highs and lows of reprieve from the self-inflicted wounds become a familiar friend. Pain and hurt become self-fulfilling and feelings that some think they can control. But when solace is sought and a mercy they themselves are unable to give is a forgotten memory, they stumble into the darkness.

One becomes two, and two becomes three, but added company does not set a person free. Pain begets more pain. Suffering begets more suffering. Whether crouched down in a slumped ball of self-deprecation or running madly and wildly in desperation, one need only stand as an upright person to see what is before them; Choices, or more bluntly, a choice.

Where there is chaos, bring peace.
Where there is hatred, bring love.
Where there is conflict, bring understanding.
Where there is pain, bring compassion.
Where there is confusion, bring calm.
Where there is despair, bring hope.

Silence by itself does not bring wisdom. Silence by itself does not bring enlightenment. Silence by itself does not bring understanding. All too often, silence is sought as a refuge in times of turmoil and turbulence in one’s life. In seeking solitude, one must ask if they are in fact running from their problems, and in the end, running from themselves. Although silence is a useful tool, without contemplative meditation, or looking into one’s own heart for what causes them pain, it simply serves as another back drop for what is really occurring.

Pain in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It can serve to correct us. Pain can often serve as an indicator that we must look into ourselves, and into the things that bring us anguish so that we can avoid those situations if there is a next time. And although we may stumble and continue to make mistakes or make waves in this existence we call life, we’ll have at least stopped long enough to see ourselves as we truly are, a naked soul for all to see. So if silence is something you seek, seek it not for the sake of silence itself, but for what can come of it.

May the silent mind bring peace to the forefront. May it envelop you in an everlasting joy. May it bring clarity and understanding for all you seek. And when that silence has become deafening, do not be afraid to share the songs of your heart.

Throughout our lives we are all met with struggles and challenges. Some bring heartache and others bring consternation. Though we may try to hide our pain and to hide our anguish, our suffering is often all too clear. Like deep scars, we wear our worries on our face. Only hidden from ourselves, our suffering is clear to all who would dare to care. But alone, we are not. Judged, we are not. Condemned, we are not. This is the buried life. Beneath the facade, the suffering runs deep as tears fill the cracks. Release them. Release them.

Hollow gestures, no more. Release the pain. Release the resentment. Your past is no more. Lessons learned and carried forward; stand tall my brother; stand tall my sister. Stand tall with me and let the tears run dry. Let the worries fade and the pain subside. Stand tall with me. Show mercy on yourself. Forgiveness lies with you and not with He.