Sidewalk Bends

When we hold on to our own personal truths so tightly, it is easy to lose sight of the greater picture. In the hopes of justifying ourselves and our past actions, we can often overlook all that is around us. Clouded in our own beliefs, we can lose perspective as we begin to discount others including those we hold dear.

As we find ourselves in more self-isolation, we must ask whether we have really followed the truth, or forsaken it out of fear of being wrong, or pride for wishing to be in the right. As if to hold our arms crossed against our chest, we can often find ourselves defending something without asking “why?” Why if we have truly found inner peace do we defend something so strongly and disallow others from finding it themselves?

No amount of preaching, repetition, or immersion can force a person to understanding without first the will and the desire to understand. This comes differently in each person, but we must be patient enough to allow it to bloom in its own time and nurture it with love from all sides.

Shadows of night.
Figures in the dark.
Behind veils thick and thin.

Familiar faces.
Teary eyes.
Tired jowls.

Jolted heart.
Silent cries.
Haggard soul.

See the frustration in others and you will know you are not alone. Some show their sadness with tears. Some sulk in silence. Some stew in anger. Some point out the things in others they cannot understand.

Do not judge your sadness against another. Do not judge your understanding against another. Be not a hindrance to yourself or another. Lift the haggard soul.

One cannot begin to judge what is in another’s heart until they have seen and felt what is in their own heart. In seeing themselves they have had a glimpse at all that has ever been. In looking inward, one is able to see infinitely outward, and in looking outward, one has seen themselves written in the souls of creation. In you I have seen my faults, my inequities. In you I have seen my strength, my joy. When I have judged your faults, I have revealed my fears. For in becoming you, I face myself. Judge me no more. Walk away from me no more. See what is in my heart. See what is in your heart.

When the sacred cow becomes a sheep, do not cast him aside. Do not banish him from the heard or mark him as an abomination. Do not poke a finger in his eye, or berate him for his transgressions. Do not speak behind his back, or cast aspersions under your breath. Judge him not for the things that others wanted him to be. Judge him not for giving you what you wanted. Judge him not for the weights he has carried. Welcome him that he may see his place. Welcome him that he may become as you. Forgive him that you may also forgive yourself.

sculpture credit: KC Sacred Cow by Rebecca L. Miller

When we have to justify our actions, haven’t we compromised ourselves? By needing to justify our thoughts or actions, haven’t we put aside a part of what we feel to be right in order to satisfy our guilt? Whose opinion will we take? Will it matter in the end when who we have to live with is ourselves? When the dust settles, and those who conspire are nestled in their beds, are we not left with our conscience?

What will your conscience tell you? What will your heart reveal? Will it say you did all you could? Will it say you defended the weak? Will it say you spoke and lived by the truth? Will it say you tampered anger and brought even handedness to those who would refuse to see another way? How much of yourself are you willing to put aside? How much of yourself are you willing to sweep under the rug?

All one can do is live by the truth in their own heart. Though we may never see the full extent of our actions, the ripples rush outward and inward at the same time. And when that wave comes your way, will you drown by your own doing, or will you stand in calm waters?

The peril of knowing you judge yourself for this life,
You judge yourself but it can’t last.

You walk through the door,
And right into your past.

Troubled by this life,
Fix the things that others can’t see.

Troubled by this life,
Create excuses for the things you can’t flee.

Walk outside the door,
Never turn your back no more.

Walk outside the door,
Worried your life’s become a chore.

Start a new day,
Turn the page.

Start a new day,
Gonna put down that rage.

Life is not lived through a window. It is not the image we present or the stories we tell. Life is not the house we have built or the fortunes we foretell. Life is not a collection of friends or the picture of peace we prop up. Life is not about the right answers. Life is vulnerable. Life is being without judging. Life is being without compromising. Life is accepting without being uncaring. Life is a mixed bag. It is joy, and it is pain. It is love, and it is hate. It is happiness, and it is sorrow. It is fondness and appreciation. It is growth in a sea of unending change. Life is perfect in its seeming imperfection. Life is…

There will be many who claim things to be impossible. They will claim prior knowledge from past experiences or shared conversations. They may even mock and ridicule you for the things you say or do. Mind them not for what is in your heart is in your heart. What is in your soul is in your soul. Offer yourself as you are, without fear of recrimination. Offer that which is available for all to know, without prejudice. Offer the truth without judgment. Offer it without want for outcome. We are all reservoirs of knowledge. Created from the same breath, we are a divine expression. Take solace in being you for it should not be any other way. Although some may speak unkindly, and some may try to impede, they do nothing but hinder themselves. Walk the path of your heart for it should not be any other way.

It is true that in light of a lot of darkness, the light of love shines bright and we are given understanding. Some people say there must be balance (yin/yang, positive/negative, light/dark, good/bad) in order for there to be true understanding, but what if our understanding of balance was misguided? It is true, each serves their purpose. For this reason we cannot judge? It is also true that within our heart of hearts, we know what “feels” right and what does not? For instance, I don’t need to stick my hand into a fire to know that I will get burned. I know because I know. How I come to know, may be another question. Perhaps God has made it so? Perhaps He guides some in different directions, or perhaps He guides all equally?

What if I said hell and punishment was not a fiery pit like some have come to believe? What if instead it was a state of mind in which we were our own tormentors? What if we were made to relive the pain and suffering that we inflicted on others, but through their eyes and through their lives? Would you call this justice, would you call it punishment, or would you call it neither? Perhaps that too is a lesson in and of itself? Forgiveness is as much for the other person as it is for our self. We do it to ourselves. By loving, we go beyond the ideas of judgment and punishment, because who are we judging and punishing, but our self?

Some may think God to be cruel and unfair. Some may think Him to be all loving and all caring. I am of the latter but that is my belief. God wears many hats, but perhaps the greatest hat of them all is Father and Mother for free-will does not mean a life without consequences. Freewill means a life of choosing, knowing that our actions and our thoughts do not live in vacuums.

It has been said by some that unconditional love will cure the evils of this world. It has also been said by others that sometimes love is not enough because some people will always do evil things. Some people are hurtful and often recommit harmful acts. Is it possible that by having the attitude or belief that some can never redeem themselves that we are judging others before they are given a chance? And by judging, do we truly love, or does our love become conditional on whether a person chooses to accept our love? By choosing to love, do we not also choose to understand where a person is coming from, and the circumstances by which a person makes their choices? By choosing to love, do we not also choose to stand by a person regardless of the choices one makes? By choosing to love, do we not put aside our grudges and live by each moment?

All too often we are quick to judge. We want results, but yet we are unwilling to compromise. we want justice, but yet we place conditions. We want happiness, but only by our own terms. So is love enough? Can love really solve all? Perhaps the question should be, do I truly understand what it means to love unconditionally? Can I love when it matters? Can I love without want for gain? Can I love and still allow others to be themselves? Can I love and still accept the love from another? Can I love knowing that it may not be reciprocated?

Love is a reward unto itself, the fruits of which are sometimes unseen, but always felt. Though we may each come to understand it by different means, it is real and it is powerful. We are all capable of loving and we are all capable of being loved, but we must all choose our way.