Sidewalk Bends

Disbelief and self-doubt are powerful in their ability to destroy oneself and even those whom would place their trust blindly with others. No matter how inclined one is to follow a particular path or mode of thinking, seeing the doubt that others may have in the same idea can often be detrimental to one’s own ability to believe.

Where a bridge stood or a rope supported one’s weight, the support fades and we are left to question our own faith, and our own motives. Have we followed others all along, or have we forged our own path? Are we truly comfortable in our own skin, or have we lived off of the support of others?

Doubt can bring a phalanx down, but when confronted with a chance to redeem oneself, there is no turning back. There is only Us in the end, no one stronger, smarter, or more prepared. There is only Us and yet all we have to confront is ourselves.

In order to learn and to progress to the next level of understanding, sometimes one must start again. Sometimes we must destroy what we’ve learned in the past, and begin anew. This does not necessarily mean forgetting or discounting what we’ve learned, but to learn to see in a new light, a different light. Only then, can we begin to truly understand what it is we have missed entirely.

Often it is the case that we build upon past lessons. We learn something, we remember it and then we save it for a later time when we might need it again. Eventually that time comes and we use that knowledge to aide us in a new pursuit or dilemma. Again, we learn something new and that too will one day help us to understand what may come our way. And so it seems that in this fashion there is a progression. One thing builds upon another, which builds upon another and so on. For some there is a belief that the lessons never end. For others there is a plateau and a belief that what a given experience has to offer is beneath them.

Who is right is beside the point for we each perceive our existence differently. Some see and express themselves as individuals. They identify themselves by their personality, outwardly and inwardly. They may also associate themselves with particular groups depending on their physical traits and or personality traits. Whether by race, sex, creed, sexual orientation, political identification, socio-economic status, occupation, nationality or age, they sort and categorize themselves. This need to label and self-identify, often does not end with themselves but causes them to categorize others as well. It causes one to choose their friends and those they associate with on personal and professional level based on these categories and bins.

There are also those who could be seen as polar opposites who not only do not identify themselves with any particular group, but see the common thread in all groups. They see themselves belonging to multiple groups that when seen from a particular view, seem mixed and homogenized. The distinctions disappear, and suddenly there is no race, sex, creed, sexual orientation, political affiliation, and so on. Suddenly the things that were seen as dividing factors joins all of creation into a single entity. Some would say that to the individualist, identity has been lost. To those on the other side of the token, some would say that identity has not been lost. Instead it has been enhanced.

How can this be true if these groups that once brought cohesion, and sometimes disagreement and separation, were to disappear? How can the individual exist in a homogenous state? Some would argue that a true homogenous state is impossible if the individual still exists. Some would also argue that it is impossible for an individual to suppress that which makes him or her an individual in the first place. Further, even for the person who sees him or herself as connected to all things, they must also see them self as an individual otherwise they would not be able to contemplate the dilemma in the first place.

Where does the individual and the unity of all things begin and end? Is this a question one can even answer or begin to answer? To be part of that which we speak, one can only speculate and speak in conjectures or so it is said. This surely does not bring satisfaction to the most diligent among us for conjecture often leads to more conjecture.

Suddenly we are brought back to the beginning of the discussion. Must the individual be destroyed in order for progression to continue, must unity be destroyed in order for the individual to pursue progression, or is progression but an illusory state?

Progression suggests order, and order suggests a beginning and an end, again with each piece building upon the next. However if the beginning and the end become the same, or if all that is in between shrinks into nothingness, what are we left with? Are we left with causes and effects with nothing in between? Are we left with beginnings and ends, without context? Are we left with trials and tribulations without purpose? Or perhaps we are left with simply the Source? Is that sufficient an answer?

What source? What end? What purpose? We are left with more questions than answers. In a state of seemingly unending questions, we are left with nothing to quench the thirst of our pursuits. And perhaps that is the issue in and of itself. Each question of purpose or understanding leads to a desire for more explanations, and for a cause we can deem as worthwhile.

We each sit as judges against what we deem important and what should be discarded into the vortex of discontent and denial. Little do we realize, but all around us we are faced with the discarded. We are faced with the cast-offs of others, some of which we take in as our own and others that we see on its way.

Understanding becomes a personal choice. We can seek it in the refuse and in the discernment of others, or we can create it anew. If understanding is a personal choice, does that make progression a lever that we will pull that convinces us that our pursuits of it are not without cause? Could it be that we are running a race that has already been completed and so in that sense, the idea of progression keeps our focus on the race, rather than the reasons for why we’ve decided to take up that race in the first place?

Choice is a simple answer, perhaps too simple for some to accept. For in having choice, we have taken away blame on all others and have put the emphasis squarely on ourselves. For those who have been running away from their decisions all their lives, this can prove to be all too frightening. We are suddenly faced with the results of our own choices.

Share your path with another that you may illuminate the darkness. Bring love to those who would deny it for themselves. Do not make others as you, but allow others to light the way.

If we spend our time calculating how another may bring us harm, or do a disservice to us, we lose sight of what really matters. We lose sight of what others bring to us. Throughout our lives we are presented with personalities and beliefs that seem almost alien to us. To processes them, we sometimes gloss over them, and all too often we attack them, rather than try to understand them. Why do we do this? Are we so sure in our beliefs, in the things we call true, that we would disregard something before we have had a chance to fully hear it? Are we so confident of our place in the universe that we would dismiss others? Surely there are those who have found peace, and who have found love. But if one truly found peace, would they not understand that others must find it in their own right? Would they not understand that to truly love, is to allow others to discover the love in themselves without beating them into submission? If we truly found peace, would we not be so comfortable in ourselves that regardless of how others chose to live their life, or how we choose to live ours, that there would be no need to criticize or to denigrate. Accepting others is very much a part of accepting ourselves, and accepting ourselves is very much a part of accepting others.

Free will cannot be taken away. The creative will to explore and to be oneself cannot be taken away. The physical body can be imprisoned, shackled and tortured, but the free will of the spirit and soul cannot be removed. Some may try to influence others through overt or concealed deception, but these deceptions are meaningless because the heart cannot be deceived. Whether through deceptive words, appearances, or actions, the heart knows truth, and is the seat of unconditional love. The mind, if allowed, is a door for all else. It knows what it knows, based on what it is told, sees, and experiences. When working with the heart, it acts like a gatekeeper. By itself, and left unchecked, it can be an oppressor.

To influence the heart, is to speak the truth and to speak openly without judgment or condemnation. To influence the mind, is to appeal to the ego. To remove undue influence, quiet the mind so that the heart may be heard. If it cannot be heard, wait. If one cannot wait, then Be.

There will be many on your path who will try to convince you to take another route. Some will try to slow you down, and others will try to convince you that their way is the way. And though many will try, none can succeed unless you allow them to succeed. No one is allowed to make your choices for you. Little do they know, but they see only what they choose to see. They understand only what they choose to understand. They know only what they choose to know. You too must make these choices, and yet there is only One choice. It is asked every day, in every moment. And though some would try to convince you, love does not need convincing.

If a person does not ask for help, can they be saved? Do they need to be saved? Who or what do they need to be saved from? So many suffer and yet they think they must go it alone. No one truly suffers alone, for what affects one affects us all. But when is it our place to step in? When is it okay to take the choice of another person so that they can avoid a perceived pitfall? Is it ever okay to take another’s choice away? Perhaps that is not our job. Perhaps that is not anyone’s job. We are each given a life, and we are each given the opportunity to make choices in that life based on what we feel is best for us. And though we might never make the choices that others have made in their life, who are we to say our way is a better way, or our way is the way? Should not each person, each soul, be allowed to choose? Even if that choice leads to hurt, or to anger, should we not love enough, to allow someone to enter back into our life when they’re ready to return? Should we not love enough to keep the door open? Should we not love enough, to be ourselves, to allow others to be themselves?

There are no hierarchies except the ones we choose to live under. Whether one is a king, president, politician, doctor, lawyer or servant, there are no hierarchies. No one person is greater than the next. No one person is worth more than the next. From birth people are taught a rigid system of order. Before one step can be achieved, one must first reach another step, and so on and so on. What we are not taught is that if we flip that hierarchy on its side, we are all equal. Instead, each person out of fear and desperation, tries to push others aside.

We have become so caught up in trying to catch the person in front of us that we forget what we are chasing. We never ask what it is the person in front of us is after. Perhaps we are doing nothing more than chasing our own tail in a self-defeating game of who’s on top, except there is no top. There is no bottom. There is not even a left or a right. There is only us. When we can accept that each person, and each pebble of creation has its place, then perhaps we can realize our true worth. It is not decided upon by society, our family, or even our friends. It is us, individually, who decides. And when we decide to realize our full potential, our true self, then all of creation will show itself.

When someone puts an obstacle in your way, go around it. When someone prevents you from going around, go above it. When someone tries to put a wall around you, walk through it. We are held back by no one. Let other’s fears be their fears. Let other’s wants be their wants. Do not live by the expectations of another. Set yourself free. Allow yourself to see the world as it was meant to be seen, without walls, without borders and without boundaries. Through prickly thorns and broken glass, walk through it. Through raging rivers and hail storms, walk through it. Through mountains and desert sands, walk through it.

It’s easy to live a lie. It’s easy to accept what others tell us to believe. It’s easy to go on with the status quo. It’s easy to disregard what flies in the face of belief. But, can you ask yourself the difficult questions? Can you admit when you’ve lived a life of lies? Can you turn yourself around? Lies can only take us so far, but the ache to know, the ache to live and to be, will always be there like a throbbing wound wanting to be healed. It’s okay to let go of the things we once held dear. It’s okay to let others know that what we once clutched with desperate hands, is no longer needed. Life begins when we realize that the only one who can set us free is ourselves. No one holds us back except ourselves. It’s time to peel the layers back. Let yourself be.