Sidewalk Bends

The words I could not say…

We love you.

We will miss you.

Forever in our hearts there will be a place for you.

We miss your company and yet you have not gone.

We miss your smile and yet you have not stopped smiling.

We miss your guidance and yet you have never stopped guiding.

We miss your warmth and yet your light shines ever brighter.

Go in peace, but never too far away.

Remember me when we were young?
I am the same person you loved.

Remember me when we were innocent?
My soul knows no different.

Remember me when we used to laugh?
My heart still dances.

Remember me when we were happy?
I left my expectations behind.

Remember me when we held no secrets?
I could not judge.

Remember me when we hung on trees?
I had no care in the world.

Remember me when I was just like you?

photo credit: Getty

Can you love me enough to see past my flaws?
Can you love me enough to see me through life?
Can you love me enough to let me fall?
Can you love me enough to let me pick myself up?
Can you love me enough to give me a pat on the back?
Can you love me enough to give me words of encouragement?
Can you love me enough to be yourself?

When I mope and throw a fit, I just want to be loved.
When I scream, I just want to be loved.
When I cry, I just want to be loved.
When I’m alone and hide, I just want to be loved.

I just want to be loved. Can you love me enough?

By the will of God/Allah all things are done. Without divine will, our actions, our words and our prayers fall on deaf ears. To call oneself a guide is to lose sight of God, and all that is possible through unconditional love. When we begin to assert ourselves as masters of the universe, or sages in a sea of misplaced prophets, then we’ve done nothing but fool ourselves.

To please God, should one be in the service of others or should one simply be, because that is who they are? What if being in the service of others also required instruction and direction by those who would claim themselves as authorities over that which is freely known? Can we be so bold as to say what pleases God? Can we be so bold to preach unity, acceptance and unconditional love and in the same breath of action, live under a hierarchy created by those who would see themselves as closer to the Divine? Do we seek to please God, or do we seek to please those in the gallery? Everyone is watching, but can we choose to be ourselves?

Perhaps to guide is to be, not because we are told, but because in being ourselves, we praise that which God created. In allowing others to be and in guiding others and ourselves towards self-acceptance and acceptance of others, we praise divine creation.

Stop apologizing for being you. Stop apologizing for the things you think others will not understand in you or about you. Stop walking on egg shells. Stop agonizing about the words you choose or the things you do. There will always be those who seek the worst in the things you say. There will always be those who take what you do as a perceived slight. There will always be those who think you do not care.

Likewise, there will be those who will see the kindness in your words, and the thoughtfulness in your actions. There will be those who will see the genuine you. When will you choose to be one of those people? When will you choose to be the genuine you, rather than hiding in your insecurities? When will the genuine you step up and say, this is me?

This is me in my entirety. I am just like you. This is me in all my imperfections. I am just like you. This is me.

What can we say for ourselves when we take joy in the destruction and dismantling of others? What does that say about us? Have our hearts’ become cold? Have we removed ourselves completely from feeling any empathy or compassion towards others? Have we become so cynical that seeing others in pain brings us enjoyment? We gather to see a spectacle, but in the process, do we not become the spectacle? Are we not taking part in the dismantling of ourselves?

All too often we try to mask our own pain by bringing to attention the pain and suffering of others. But rather than alleviating anyone’s suffering, all we do is throw more fuel onto an already burning fire and turn a blind eye towards our own issues. We smile and put up a proud face, but underneath, the pain is all too clear. And so rather than face it, we point it out in others.

We smile and we laugh and we give all the reasons for why others are imperfect, never giving a second thought to ourselves. Each person has their own trials. Each person learns in their way. Each person comes to an understanding of the truth by their own choices. If we could allow that, and learn to understand that despite our own suffering, we need not bring others into it. So rather than jumping in on the dog pile, perhaps we can have some sympathy and compassion.

photo credit: Bay News 9

The great pretender can say all the right words, press all the right buttons, make nice and smile at all the right people, but can you find love in his heart? Do the words please and soothe, or do you have to play the convincing game? Is he an open book, or has the facade been built so high he is unrecognizable? Can you stare thru to his soul, or does he have you looking at the iniquity in others? Does he bow down to the lowest common denominator or is he finding ways to maintain the status quo? Can he bring a smile to your heart, or does he have you scratching your head? Does he wave back in the mirror, or can you not look anymore?

How much can we give of ourselves before we break? How much is too much? Is there such a thing as too much when we are all here to help one another? Does it make us selfish to take a step back; even if that means someone we are trying to help sinks back as well? Are the fruits of our actions more important than the intent, or does our desire to do good outweigh any consequence?

Often times when we help someone, we want so much for another person to change, or a given outcome, that when that change does not come, we become resentful. We become resentful that we put our efforts and energy into something that was not accepted. We become resentful that our words were not heard. We become resentful that what was heard or accepted was not fully on the mark. We become resentful that what was supposed to be easy was made more difficult.

Perhaps the lesson is not just for the person to be had, but for us. If we truly gave freely, would there be a need to see a desired outcome? If we truly wanted what was best for another person, would we not allow that person to seek understanding in the best way possible for them, even if we do not understand the reasons ourselves? If we truly sought the best for another person, would we not stop measuring the benefits to ourselves? To give freely, is to love without condition. To love without condition is to have compassion and understanding in the face of suffering.

When will your soul be satisfied?
Will it be satisfied when it has found eternal bliss?
Will it be satisfied when it has found its master?
Will your soul be satisfied after you’ve lived a saint’s life?

When will your mind be satisfied?
Will it be satisfied when it can be convinced of the truth?
Will it be satisfied when it can hide its lies?
Will your mind be satisfied when your heart takes a backseat?

When will your heart be satisfied?
Will it be satisfied when it remembers unconditional love?
Will it be satisfied when it no longer aches?
Will your heart be satisfied when it’s seated at the thrown?

When will you be satisfied?

child: “What does it mean, God?”

parent: “I don’t know honey. What does ‘God’ mean to you?”

child: “God means to love yourself.”

Earlier this afternoon, I used the word “God” in front of my son, and the preceding conversation ensued. Initially when my son asked me the meaning of God, I hesitated to give him an answer because I wanted him to form his own belief. I wanted him to come to his own understanding without being spoon fed my beliefs or the beliefs of my wife and our families. Little did I know that he would teach me. At four years old, he was very matter of fact, as if to say, “Dad, you are looking too hard. It’s right there in front you.” And so he was right. Love yourself.