Sidewalk Bends

This is dedicated to my mom who inspired this thought.

Several years ago while meditating I decided to ask God to show me Himself. I asked Him to show me what God is, and to remove any of my preconceived thoughts of God and of existence itself. I asked that any internal and external biases be removed so that I may come to understand.

As I asked this through my heart, I attempted to quiet my mind. What I experienced and what I saw I could not expect. With my eyes opened, I became blind. I could not see anything. Slowly my vision went, and everything became black. There was not even a hint of light. With my ears straining to hear any voice or sound, I could hear nothing. The buzzing of the street lights disappeared and the distant traffic became non-existent to my ears. I had become deaf. Next my racing mind seemed to pause. All thoughts sank away. Not even an image or random thought had crossed my mind. It was quiet, yet at the same time I was all too aware that it was quiet. It was not overwhelming. I was peace.

Not a worry had occupied me. As I became aware of this emptiness, this lack of sensation, I began to see a tunnel in my mind’s eye. At the end or perhaps it was the beginning, I saw what appeared to be a green light, beckoning, almost like a cocoon. With that, I began to hear again and I began to see again. The image had disappeared and thoughts came flooding back.

At the time this occurred, I thought I had understood what happened. I thought I knew what God or perhaps my inner self was trying to tell me. I found solace in this quietness, this communion of sorts. And yet today I found myself seeing more understanding in this experience. I found God to be everything, and at the same time I found God to be nothing. I found God to be peace, inner peace, a choice seemingly made by me, but not entirely by me. Perhaps like a seed in our heart, God is there waiting to be nurtured, waiting to show us our true selves, our true potential.

What or who is God to you?

By the will of God/Allah all things are done. Without divine will, our actions, our words and our prayers fall on deaf ears. To call oneself a guide is to lose sight of God, and all that is possible through unconditional love. When we begin to assert ourselves as masters of the universe, or sages in a sea of misplaced prophets, then we’ve done nothing but fool ourselves.

To please God, should one be in the service of others or should one simply be, because that is who they are? What if being in the service of others also required instruction and direction by those who would claim themselves as authorities over that which is freely known? Can we be so bold as to say what pleases God? Can we be so bold to preach unity, acceptance and unconditional love and in the same breath of action, live under a hierarchy created by those who would see themselves as closer to the Divine? Do we seek to please God, or do we seek to please those in the gallery? Everyone is watching, but can we choose to be ourselves?

Perhaps to guide is to be, not because we are told, but because in being ourselves, we praise that which God created. In allowing others to be and in guiding others and ourselves towards self-acceptance and acceptance of others, we praise divine creation.

You haven’t known me until you’ve asked the right question…

What’s your name?
How old are you?
Are you married?
Do you have any children?
How old are they?
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Where do you live?
Where do you work?
Where did you grow up?
Do you have any siblings?
What month were you born?
What’s your sign?
What kind of music do you like?
What kind of books do you enjoy?
Do you believe in God?
Do any of these questions matter?
Who are you?
Who am I?
Who are We?

child: “What does it mean, God?”

parent: “I don’t know honey. What does ‘God’ mean to you?”

child: “God means to love yourself.”

Earlier this afternoon, I used the word “God” in front of my son, and the preceding conversation ensued. Initially when my son asked me the meaning of God, I hesitated to give him an answer because I wanted him to form his own belief. I wanted him to come to his own understanding without being spoon fed my beliefs or the beliefs of my wife and our families. Little did I know that he would teach me. At four years old, he was very matter of fact, as if to say, “Dad, you are looking too hard. It’s right there in front you.” And so he was right. Love yourself.

People ask to see God all the time. They are told to go outside. And when they go outside, they see the stream as it trickles along, the knee high grass that waves in the wind, and the rays from the sun as it gives the sky a purple hue. They see butterflies float by and clouds scattered and dotting the vast expanse. The sounds of birds, and a symphony of insects and critters fill the air.

“Where is God,” they ask.

Again they are told to look outside. Outside they see children running by, laughing and playing. An old man sits on his stool humming to the sounds of nature. A couple is on their porch discussing the day’s events. A stranger is seen in the distance, his face out of view.

“Where is God,” they ask again.

They are told close the door and look inside. There they see their living room, filled with furniture. A mess is piled on the coffee table, and a fresh pot of coffee is brewing in the kitchen. It’s quiet and no one is home.

“Where is God,” they ask again.

They hear nothing. They see nothing. They smell nothing. They feel nothing. Everything turns to black. The sound of silence becomes deafening. Thoughts begin to empty from the mind. The smell of the coffee disappears. And there in front of them, in back of them, outside of them, inside of them, they feel nothing and everything.

Share your path with another that you may illuminate the darkness. Bring love to those who would deny it for themselves. Do not make others as you, but allow others to light the way.

The message of the heart is lost in self-promotion. It is lost when it is plastered on walls, and shouted through megaphones. It is lost when the message of the heart is turned into the message of the mind, and a message of the pocket book. Every day, churches line their pockets with cash and gold, and dispense empty guidance. Charities fight each other for the attention of donors, and forget who they serve. The message of the heart is lost when individuals attempt to profit from the misfortunes of others, while at the same time propping themselves up as a savior to man. Groups are created, religions are formed, books are written, and all for the purpose of self-adulation.

It is nice to find fellowship among others. It is also nice to be able to share oneself openly without judgment and condemnation. But when we seek fellowship at the cost of damning another’s beliefs, or further separation, we have done nothing but caused more division. Separation is separation regardless of how it is framed and dressed up. Love is love, regardless of how others would like to shape it or guide it. It is not owned or controlled by any one person or group. It is free for everyone.

If God expressed His will to you, would you change His words? Would you add to it? Would you edit it? Would you give it a grand title? Would you turn it into your own?

By changing God’s word, do we not take His breath and suffocate ourselves? Like weights upon our chest, do we not add burdens to our heart, rather than setting ourselves free?

Perhaps to express God’s will is to Be, not to be seen, to be heard or to be followed, but to Be. Perhaps if God were God, He would not need judges to persecute, politicians to rally on His behalf, or ideologues to frame His intentions. If God were God, perhaps His words would stand on their own, without need for justification or convincing. Unconditional love is an unending Source.

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Waka ta…Waka te…Ah ey.

Come walk with me.
Come dance with me.
Come dance with me Great Spirit.
Come dance with the moon.
Come dance with the wind.
Come dance with the trees.

There is great joy in the peace I know.
Come dance with me.

Walk with this spirit.
Wolf, guide me through the plains.
Moose, stand sentry over the forest.
Robin, point the way.
Walk with me Great Spirit.

There is joy in remembering.
There is peace.

This is the language of my ancestors.
Come walk with me.

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